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Friday, March 4, 2011

The Abyss...

I know it is nothing unique or new...in fact I am sure that most of us experience it more often in our lives than we care to recount, but sometimes it seems so unique and so intense as to make one think it is a new and undiscovered emotion.

It is so intense than your chest aches and it feels as if every fiber of your body it drawn tight at once.  As if
to pull you into a ball so small that perhaps you would evade it's waves of invasion.  Your hands seek some kind of comfort...something, someone...to make it lessen the oppressiveness of it's deadening blanket.

To call it sadness would be like calling the ocean a wet spot on the world...it goes so far beyond mere sadness...it is a sorrow so deep that it threatens to devour you from the very core of your being.  It seems so dark, yet it is not malevolent...it simply is what it is...an emotion that needs.

It comes from missing what you cannot have...from having what you do not want...from the seeing that you have failed and because of that, others have been let down...from the realization of chances missed and roads stretching behind that could have been. If I pretend it is not there, I merely enrage it so as to make the cloud a thunderstorm. It has to be faced, embraced, acknowledged and expressed, otherwise it will kill from the inside out.

If only tears were enough...

2 comments:

Barbara Shallue said...

So powerful and honest, Lynn. Hang on!

said...

I am trying Barb...I am trying...

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